Ross. Joey. Chandler. Who would you do?
Nope changed our mind. Decided your strange bacon like body odor wasn't what we want to smell tonight.
Locked out of the apartment with just a box of wine way to begin the weekend.
so sad. i just ate the last good 'n' plenty out of the bottom of my purse.
I wonder if they have a "21st birthday" section in the hospital..
You slammed your face into the toilet and declared you were moving your bed into the bathroom in the morning. Also, you insisted on crawling everywhere because feet are "overrated."
I had to physically pry the rocks out of your hands so you wouldn't throw them at the guy with the cowboy hat. You probably would've missed anyways.
Trust no bitch in laser tag. Not a single one.
After sex he just told me I'm definitely pregnant and it's a girl. Should I run?
I have a 8 minute video of a fish tank on my phone.
We need to stop going to pet stores high.
She has a bong hits for Jesus shirt. Of course I'm going to like her.
I hope Trump leaves Planned Parenthood alone for at least another month. The week got away from me. #whorelando
Dude you were so wasted you thought a fake electric candle was real and tried to light your cig with it. Multiple times.
in fetal position in his closet not sure if he knows im here... hugging his spongebob cake pan i stole.... now please come find me..
Hello! Time means nothing. Good morning! I have a vague idea of what day it is.
It is Muednethiday, March 34th, in the Year of Our Lord Joe Exotic 3099.
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