oh there is nothing like the 1st beerbong of the school year
i just saw an ambulance and a fire truck pull away from the dorms. it appears somebody actually IS feeling shittier than me today.
i decided to cut a 3rd hole in to my snuggie so i could masturbate all the time.. all time low? or genius?
I feel like I should limit myself to one meal prepared from a box per day
No, I think it was the night I threw up in her front yard. You're thinking of the time I threw up in her backyard.
coming from the girl bound and determined to pee in the snow
why would you restrict a girl of that
Don't mind the bowl full of ashes in the sink. I meant to set that on fire.
I feel I must have sex with him first to fully decide where my vagina belongs.
All of the hungover. I've changed not showered but can't quite make it to the booze.
WE'RE IN THE RED ZONE PLAY THRU THE PAIN
You missed the winter stoner olympics last night....I got the gold in blunt rolling
He just pulled a Spanish chick using google translate!!!! We are at the bar and she speaks zero English. Hes a fucking magician!!!!!!
Something tells me your "Titties for Tracy Morgan" fundraiser won't pan out.
St. Patrick's day can kiss my ass. Still hungover. I guess I showed up at my gym blacked out yesterday morning. Like im not missing a gym day b
I mean, it's just pathetic when the standard is tinder and he can't live up to it.
You cuddled up under the blanket because you said it smelled like Santa and vodka.
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