Hoooooo maaaaan
Yes?
I'm retarded. Again.
I just farted so loud that my cat got so scared he fell off the couch.
I just saw a midget ride by on a scooter...wearing a bowtie and a helmet. My life is complete.
as i creep her facebook pics from back in the day till now, i noticed that her lazy eye has gotten better
good thing vaginas are great cup holders
I just found three unopened cans of PBR behind our futon that I think I was saving for winter.
don't judge, it's breakfast wine Wednesday.
I dont think I should be allowed to pick my own boyfriends anymore
I may have just made our entire microwave glow green. Like big green. Like spark and make me shit green.
Like worse than the time I blew up the microwave with the egg green.
I think there's a problem with society when I'm shopping for lingerie and I think "man some of these would make kickass shirts"
Rigtt?!
I'm glad you found someone that both loves you and is cool doing coke off your tits. Proud of you.
High me is so sweet. She left not-high me a fortune from a fortune cookie and 6 packets of soy sauce in my tampon drawer.
On a scale of 1-10 how inappropriate is it for me to ask if Walgreens offers teacher discounts when purchasing a Plan B pill?
I don't think you could pull off being mean.
How do you think I'm still single?
so we’ve decided to fuck for our own health
Randomize