I just watched a video of Justin Bieber kissing a girl..... the sad thing is that I actually got upset.
Sorry for punching you in the face last night. I should have known the boxing gloves were a bad idea from the start.
I will not ride trays down a flight of stairs topless and drunk....
there is a strobe light in my taxi. in what way is this safe.
No, this is a senior booty call. It cannot be ignored.
Most adult booty call ever. Ha. We got down to business and still got to watch the colbert report.
I'm like a savant for remembering names I learned while I was drunk. Seriously, I'm three for three. I'm on a roll.
I'm just gonna pretend you didn't ask me that. I'll sweep that shattered moment of our friendship under the shame rug.
You can jump from the roof to the pool. Trust me. I have done this before.
When she tells her friend, "hey I'll be back tomorrow, just going to fuck a guy", right in front of you, you know you've got a winner.
Your clever response has earned you a blow job this week
I think i should either cut my hair or buy a dildo.
im shaving my vagina and listening to frank sinatra, im coming over after
I got all the way to work before I realized there were Trojans in my bra.
I don't want too, lol. I'm currently awaiting my next period like its the second coming of christ
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