You are possibly the most enthusiastic, likable bad influence I've ever met.
we do all of our sexting over chat on words with friends, so my boyfriend doesn't know about it when he looks at my texts.
The last thing I remember was talking about the economic viability of cock ring manufacturing... we had some good ideas
just cheers'ed a flock of cattle as i drove past eating a burger i bought 7 hours ago. that high.
I obviously couldn't but this on your fbook wall. I would get judge. I would willingly get tbagged by him. You can quote me on that.
All I vaguely remember from last night is getting up on that nice mahogany table and debating about squirrel's rights
Some older looking guy gave me his card as he exited the train. Hes a pharmaceutical rep. I'm debating asking him for a job. Obv he wants sex but if I can get a job out of this maybe I can offer him more than a cheap dry handjob bc that's all I'm really up for these days
Listen I just pulled white girl hair out of my underwear. This has got to stop. I was wearing pants all night.
I found a video on my phone from last night... You got up on the table at McDonald's and screamed BURRITOOO!
My fridge door just caught on fire somehow.
There's no good way to say, "sorry your son saw me naked on top of your brother"
Yes, you can go into Petsmart drunk but the cats awaiting adoption don't appreciate the soft pretzels squeezed through their cages.
At one point my little brother was Rocky Balboa'd by a stripper's tit
I don't work there anymore. If they had Prince themed dildo parties i never would have quit
I promise I won't bug you anymore, I just need the following things at your convenience but preferably soon: my earrings, cup, and panties. Thanks. Good talk.
Randomize
