return my video game
I just woke up in the back of his van. Bring me a sunkist.
I get so lonely sometimes I set my phone's alarm to go off every 5 minutes or so and imagine people are texting me.
Is it bad that your cum tickles when I swallow it?
Correct me if I'm wrong but the photo album titles "cause I've been drankin" and "baby jessica" should not belong to the same person.
Something about getting head on stairs. I don't know.
I have a music final in an hour so I put all the classical songs we need to know in a shower power hour playlist, beer included.
You told them that the brownies were safe, and then pointed to a passed out Ryan and said "see?"
Trick or treaters just rang our doorbell
Give them the moldy beer cans, we need to get rid of those
Fair enough. I'm gonna finish off half a bottle of Brunettes in the shower anf relive the good ol' days. We need a reunion
Yes. I feel like complaining about sex all the time with a 21 year old might be punishable by death of the sex gods so I try not to
Invite that kid who wants to become a priest. I WANT ON.
So never has there been a greater Valentine's Day gift than you actually putting a new roll of toilet paper on for me after using the old roll up! You didn't even use the new roll. You clearly put that on from a gentleman's standpoint vs. a selfish standpoint. I love you!!!!
So you're at your daughter's volleyball game looking at dicks online? That's amazing.
No, I was picking her up from volleyball and sitting in my car looking at dicks.
I smell like Dick and happiness
Randomize
