hey babe. i'll pick you up in my mom's car. with my mom. she has nothing to do tonight.
maybe after you take off her top her face will be hotter
Thanksgiving. A stoners favorite holiday
this girl is having heart failure because she lost her feather...a gypsy blessed it in turkey. Not sure im high enough for this
i can't believe you were mixing vodka with green tea last night and enjoying it.
i should bottle and sell it. my slogan could be "green tea vodka. antioxidating while intoxiacting. your liver will thank you. "
Man, i was looking at the pictures i took last night in one i was on the Kentucky line fist pumping with a hobo..wth happened?
he will always be the guy i fucked in the hallway.
Ordered a large pizza and definitely just paid the cab driver in pizza slices. I'm glad there's someone out there that's just as fat at heart as we are.
I just found pizaa roll in my hair. Already been to class today
Totally sleeping on a bloodstained mattress tonight. I love life's little adventures.
Just rinsed and put my styrofoam cup of noodles in the dishwasher. I need to be not hungover ASAP
IT'S SUMMA TIME
ITS SUMMA TIME NOT BE HIGH ALL THE TIME TIME
THEY'RE THE SAME THING
I just made kick ass drunk stir fry while taking care of three other drunk people and doing shots. I don't understand how that's not wife material
Oh my god I found my bf's erotica
OH MY GOD HE WROTE THIS EROTICA.
OH MY GOD THIS IS GOOD EROTICA.
We had sex while watching the republican debate. I'm not sure how he maintained an erection watching Donald Trump speak.
Randomize
