Do you think red sox nation has an official powerpoint template/memo format for resignations of manny support, bandwagon applications, and other official business?
he put his p in my v, then his p in my a, and then tried to put the p in my m? first, double dipping is rude. second, i'm glad he finished shortly after that, i'm afraid of where he'd try to stick it next. my ear?
Nah, lets use your guy, my drug dealer is going all pineapple express on me
He said we were driving the golf cart through the woods screaming 'iceroad truckers' for four hours in the dark
I just took a bite of a bagel at school and it tasted like weed. If I am high for my test in 2 hours I'm gonna kick someones ass
I can't believe I had to convince you to not drink butter.
answered a 6 am booty call this morning...you were still in the er so I thought what the hell
Oh my Christ. I just came so hard my penis stood back up and took a bow afterwards. I need Thai food.
Dinner?
YES CON MARGARITAS POR FAVOR!!!! MUCHO MARGARITAS!!!
It's like refusing a bong hit from michael phelps... You just can't do it
I just heard myself say the sentence "I'm gonna go to the bank then take a nap". 8 year old me just slapped my present self through the space-time continuum for being an old fuck.
Yup, two strangers look up at each other and realize the only connection they have is the dead woman they banged to death below them. Magic. They have to be best friends now.
We'd like to invite you to our threesome! Lingerie is encouraged and drinks will be provided. Next Friday, roommate night, my bedroom. Hope to see you there!
I was really excited when I saw a billboard for neverbethirsty.org this morning. Then I realized it was for a church.
I think I just shit out all my problems.
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