guess who just spent driver's ed figuring out how to draw a guy giving head
do u think i could put an abortion on my debit card?
Keeping my bail papers as a souvenir from when I was arrested. Too weird?
oh hey just found a glowstick in my tits. fuck yes new years eve
I just encountered the most annoying guy on the planet. I wanted to slap his milkshake out of his fat-boy hands while he was talking to me at the same time as slurping his liquid fat.
I love milkshakes.
Not the point.
Nobody is wearing shirts anymore. What is happening.
He came up and told us to watch as he chugged his beer with no hands. Then asked if he could come drunk swimming with us.
pregamed for the floor meeting. so stoned. i keep thinking my RA is shrinking.
He blew a .19 and then slurred "well I did have some rum cake earlier today officer".
I just want to dump glitter on my floor and roll in it like a cat in catnip.
also, am i correct in guessing that advertising the size of my hypothetical penis is a turnoff to him?
seriously the second he called my tits warlocks was the second I knew I wasn't going to fuck him.
Not as great as when your drunk mom grabbed my junk, but better than when your sober grandma sacktapped me and grabbed my butt.
Too much dab too little lung dying šµšµšµ
I just sold Adderall to a priest, im not quite sure how I feel about this situation
Randomize
