whatcha mean you cant get rid of genital warts? thats not what my girlfriend says
Let me guess--your parents are cousins.
i got excepted to unl lol
You mean "accepted".
we seriously had to hang a plastic bag on his ears so he could throw up right into it.
How do I invite him to our 4th of July cookout without sounding too much like "hey you were my first orgasm and I want your dick inside my while watching fireworks"
Okay. We're coming naked. We need Saran wrap and plastic forks.
Well, now that you have a gf, its gonna be awkward when I get drunk and make out with you..... Then later, pretend like I don't remember.
Wow I didn't even consider the possibility of him having ED. I'm gaining so many life experiences from dating an older man
Can you pick up from work today? There's a surprise for you on the bed and I haven't gone blind which is positive.
We were walking home from Pluckers (read carrying your drunk ass) and out of nowhere you yelled "Say bitch you got a Facebook?" at a random chick walking by.
I'm not real sure what dinosaurs sound like, but dude, she made dinosaur noises.
I still blew him because I won't let allergies keep me from doing what I want. But I almost suffocated like 10 times.
long story short... we may or may not have lost your car.
I want to disappear from this job like a fart in the wind.💨
I’m never getting home or fucked or eating hot Taco Bell fml
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