I just spent the last two hours on the phone with Emily trying to explain to her how to finger herself.
I wish i was in the wii world.
apparently the dude across the street has been dead for like a month. now I feel bad about pissing on his lawn
She took a break from repeating "my face is still buzzing!" to say that the phantom of the opera could be here
There is a limo involved. Man up, and make yourself puke. Its only one more night of blacking out.
Thank you for getting us into that car accident. I have had more guys hit on me than ever before because of my broken fingers.
I basically get to watch her life fall apart via tumblr updates
You grabbed her hand and started jacking her finger off. She was horrified.
Did it finish?
Just because im a good person doesn't mean that I don't reserve the right to be a complete dick about it.
Delete that photo of me. My ass looks WAY to good it in to be on Facebook for everyone to see. You gotta earn that shit.
I would have dumped her already but between the 4 hr bjs and our shared love of enjoying thirsty Thursday naked while watching basketball I'd say its the best shot at love ill ever have
Remind me in the morning that I've now seen a guy do crack. That actually happened. I'm at the wrong party.
I'm missing my left shoe, and there's a note on my foot (in my handwriting) that says "HAHA BITCH" Any explanation for this?
They already have a joint checking account. She's got his balls in her purse! What's next, a shared Facebook account?
I'll give you some leg action but I'm not showing you anything else until your penis admits it loves me
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