I just had someone call me out on a walk of shame via megaphone
i never told you how having a club foot got me laid
i was so drunk that i ate a carrot out of her guiena pig's cage and thought it was normal
he screamed my twitter name while we were having sex.
There's been so much talk around your vagina it's like a local celebrity
they are using this drunk girl like a spin the bottle in the hot tub, whoever she lands on she makes out with.
He came in my eye, I lost my earring and all of his friends saw me topless. Happy New Year to you as well.
i left after you tried to balance a shot of tequila on your head while screaming at the bar tender that you fucked his girlfriend
I remember because you made a pirate noise when you came.
Last time we had an ultimatum like that, things went very far south. I'm down, but it's your turn to wake up in a hospital.
My heart wants him and my vagina wants him...to have a bigger dick.
Now in listening to Jerome Bettis speak at the hall of fame and my boner just started twirling a terrible towel
All I want to do is drink an excessive amount of free alcohol bought from strange men, while taking frequent trips to the bathroom to snort an assortment of illicit drugs off dirty toilet seats. Break cannot get here quick enough...
What? I'll do just about anything if you give me a sticker.
I promised to leave my panties on but I didn't promise to not have sex
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