I'm wearing a childsize birthday hat and a bib. I am the def of sex appeal rite now
I have to get up uber early tomorrow. Which is why I started drinking early today
Did you ever feel like going into a planned parenthood and performing an abortion in front of them?
Umm..who the fuck is this?
Oh shit
tried to be sexy and unbutton his shirt with my teeth. ended up slobbering all over it. thank god he was already passed out
I shouldn't have to thank you for taking off your captain hat off before we had sex
As i lay in bed, clutching my face, i'm starting to believe your dick in my eye story.
Just filled the brita up in the bathtub because we couldn't get it into the sink.
Please. Last time I saw him I awkwardly pulled his rat tail until it got too weird
I just yelled at a bunch of girl scouts for yelling "cookies" to loudly. That hungover
dude, you were feeling up her boob for 20 minutes in front of the guy she was hitting on because you and her had an argument over who had bigger boobs.
hey man, it was for science okay.
The sad part is that if I don't get a random pic of your balls or ass or both every month, I start to worry that we're not friends anymore
Is the mullet a good, great, or horrible idea before we leave for college
He texted me "sup", so I sent him that gif of the surprised guy and apparently it offended him
He passed out in my car.
What's the problem?
HE'S STILL IN MY FUCKING CAR.
wow. that really looks like a penis. not a top hat
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