The world needs more lipstick lesbians, if anything.
Down at cameli's and some homeless dude just pulled out a taser. Awesome.
So I'm at planned parenthood and there are 5 people here from Friday's party.
I'm cleaning my bathroom. That being said I found a klonopin and dropped it and stepped on it. Floor is clean im gonna snort it.
When boys buy condoms it makes me feel proud of their mothers for doing a good job
He whinnies like a horse when he's cumming. I wish I would have known this before we got into a relationship.
His grandma held his dogs so they wouldn't follow me out the door. It was like a whole new level added to my walk of shame.
Next time a party gets busted lets get a group photo first.
See, I'm just thinking of how...angular my room is. You probably would have sustained brain damage
You used his ass cheeks to demonstrate how to play the bongos and he still called you the next day. That's true love.
Apparently swingers are magnetically drawn to me?
Would an open wound count as good sex or bad sex?
He has the fingertips of a God
At least your wife cheated on you. Women will feel bad for you. In a month there will boy bands that are jealous of your dick
be the chaos you wish to see in the world...
i'm trying to figure out how to respond to that in text
Randomize
