You just left with that feminine looking guy you kept calling "Jessica." Just giving the heads up.
She wanted to test if her costume allows her to still have sex in it. It does
guess what. just found out I had mono. no wonder alcohol didn't taste good on nye
oh awks just saw the head of medical staff who I punched the bottle of wine at
He just found another high guy at wal-mart. There now friends. His friend is eating a cupcake
Started with us just having a beer. Now Ivan lit a torch to walk to the store, Ben smashed a 26 in the parking lot, and they're throwing broken shot glasses. Fratio Friday is something.
I have no idea how I got home or why I am naked but I assume I owe you a thank you...
Oh you know, we just bobbed for apples in a bucket full of jungle juice. So, a casual Tuesday night.
Oh, and i love you too. Im just a selfish dick who had to talk about myself first
The straight guy here is hot. He described himself as Christian grey without the money and my vagina fell out of my body
when a dude sends me an unwanted dick pic I just send him a picture of a nicer one. A more photogenic one. A dick with a future.
Hired a new intern today and we have something in common. I blew her boyfriend in high school. Do you think she knows?
I just interrupted this girl giving a dude head in a parked car on the south side. Going down on your guy while you're parked in front of your house because you don't want your parents catching you is fine by me, just don't block the fire hydrant.
if people come over to pregame will you hide my Oreos?
Kay so its 9 am whose dumbass is gunna act sober to buy pizza rolls
Dude you promised
Randomize
