Does it count as a shower if I just sat in the tub singing I'm a Little Teapot?
i just used google streetview to figure out where i spent the night last night
She refers to my dick as princess Sarah... oddly I'm okay with that.
The bartender let me pay my bar tab with my itunes giftcards.
She bought a fucking hedgehog. And that's just the tip of the crazy iceberg.
I feel like I'm sitting in a sleigh of puddy. It's not a bathtub though because you need a sleigh to go down a mountain.
we drunkly made out in the middle of the street beside the homeless guy playing the flute. Not how I imagined our first kiss.
We're you guys there last night when everyone started chanting "Nacho Steph"? Someone picked me up, carried me to the nacho cheese and made me do a nacho cheese stand.
I just fully woke up, never smoking that much weed again. I had stress dreams about your house being surrounded by a lake and we kept losing our cars in it.
You helped blow my nose... Ok it's safe to say we are on a new level of relationship..
I was looking at the storm clouds during my run and one oddly resembled ur penis
well smoking weed has become a deal breaker for me so I pretty much use "let's go smoke a blunt" as an icebreaker
I'll give you one guess. It has a cock and I want it
well you did quote socrates while playing beer pong and then proceeded to fall down
Remind me to never do anything where hiding something in my butt is the best course of action
Randomize
