May i just say it is extremely difficult to pee in a cape
This girl wants me to lick her pits
pits??
Yeah pits, I think I still go for it though
MIND BOGGLER: batman and jesus are the same person. Think about it.
He started to lose his balance halfway through his "commencement speech" at the top of the staircase. The rest is bloody, profanity-laiden history.
i probably shouldve stopped when i uncurled the curly straw in my cocktail because it was slowing me down
I am omw to AA Fellowship by the sea w Jenny and a stripper who just paid for our jetski with 85 $1 bills
After Thursday my breakup "don't screw anybody out of respect" month will be over and I will be set loose. My pussy is purring with anticipation.
No one suspects that a sweet girl who is excited about her anniversary with her bf just blew her partner at work in a communal area a few hours ago, so its cool.
Ew. After that you just pretty much proved that your vagina is the reason why my vagina needs two toilet seat covers when peeing in public restrooms
I'm almost too old to be on The Real World but feel like I'm too young to be on The Bachelor and I'm just really confused with my place in life.
you were angry and didn't have anything else to throw so you threw a breakfast burrito...?
Ok, now help me add to my topless picture collection, i'm going to make myself a calendar
So i just remembered that thing i use to do with your butt because of shark week.
Do you think I could use my teacher of month Award to get free drinks?
Ok so I need a recap of last night...
YOU SPENT SIX DOLLARS AT NICKEL BEER NIGHT!!! How's that
Randomize
