I wish that vaginas would just grow when you're ready for sex. Like when you dont need your vagina its not there, but when you need it...BAM its there. then no one would see it when you get drunk
yeah...or you could just stop doing cartwheels in skirts
It's not just about fucking anymore... We decided we're actually in like now..
She opened a beer bottle with her armpit and then gave me a cigarette from the waistband of her underwear. I dont know if I want to be her or marry her.
apparently he's bringing me two things i like. he said one was him and i'm assuming the other one is his penis
I'll be honest. I knew what I was getting into. I'm not proud, but I'll be damned if I'm ashamed. 6 month draught is over. That's justice.
Accidently said "your going to hurt the baby" when he got forceful with his thrusts. I guess I forgot to mention to him that we are pregnant.
I'm wearing red that night.
Noted, what shade?
Whore.
I am currently watching him baptize himself in a baby pool with a handle of belvedere while wearing a coral dress.
I want to have sex with him.
And I really REALLY don't feel like cleaning cinnamon off my penis tonight.
I'm hoping that by this time next year we will be smoking some weed at a gay wedding, asking "Mitt who?"
so he's a sleeptalker.
yeah??
"Mitochondria is the powerhouse of the cell" right in my ear. 2 am.
I booty texted him nothing but three exclamation points at 3:05am and he was in my bed 17 minutes later, lest you think punctuation is not important.
I really wanted you to make me eggs this afternoon. I even wrote it on my hand to remind myself.
She woke up, mumbled "the trees" When i asked her what about them, she yelled "WE NEED THEM FOR OXYGEN," Then went back to sleep.
We need to get on her level.
Like honey no, I’m getting groceries while pretending that having sexy talk with you is turning me on
Randomize
