Puking blue powerade in mcdonalds parking lot to the applause of the guy taking out the trash with man in the mirror blasting in the background. Good morning stl
IM SAVING ALL MY LOVE FOR YOU
I don't want it.
Well It's time to grow up anyways, right? Now that you're graduated and have a job you can't drink uncontrollably
No. Now that I'm graduated I can drink uncontrollably at nicer bars
this is no time to have dignity 4/20 is coming
they duct taped my keg cup to my hand with my sister's phone number on it. I should be ok tonight.
We had a race to see who could chug their vodka tonic faster. College doesn't seem to be working for me... I'm getting exponentially dumber
you kept telling her you'd make a great step-dad while cuddling her and rubbing her back...
it was not a walk of shame, it was a ferry ride of shame, and i'm not ashamed, so technically it was just an early morning ferry ride. wearing yesterday's clothing
and semen
I sang again at the bar lastnight I don't think alanis morrset knew when she wrote you outta know that the drunk version was going to be go fuck yourself Josh and Chelsea. I love $2 wells.
I'm crossing my legs while pooping. Taking a shit has never looked so proper.
Katelyn drunkenly ripped the soap dispenser off the wall so we decided to call it quits
We had 15 min before last call. Exact quote "let's see how drunk we can get."
So, we estimated there is at least 40 pounds of boob in our house.
You know what would make this walk of shame even better? Picking up my cap n gown on the way to my car
When we were having sex last night, I told him I would replace him with tacos
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