Operation extremely regretful is in full effect
Do you know how easy it would be to shoplift if I was a magician?!
i'm gonna need a rally to restore sobriety after this weekend...
should my break up email to my English professor be in MLA format?
koolaid chicken. i marinated it for 2 hours and roasted it on a rock in a fire. it was bright blue and raw. but that shit was tasty
Nothing like a marijuana chart of usage in each country to make me understand math.
I understand where he's coming from but I don't want this alcohol to revolve around relationship
Wait
I really hope your new roommate never finds out we had a threesome with a bisexual British guy in his room the night before he moved in.
He was having Sex and you yelled 'hot and dangerous!" and he responded with "if you're one of us then roll with us!" when he went to he bathroom I saw her getting dressed, looking mortified.
I lost my bar virginty and made out with a dwarf. It was a good night
I left my panties in the microwave for too long and they caught on fire
I'm ordering sushi and crying over finals. Come over and bring wine.
Every time we have sex, I feel his dick ramming my soul into submission. Problem is..... I LIKE THAT SHIT!
I wonder if the sex shop has any Black Friday deals.
can jess come too?
sure! but I don't have enough booze for the both of you.
she comes with her own booze, no worries.
Randomize
