Why does Jon Cryer have a career?
That is a good question.
We're playing Big Buck Hunter to determine who buys the next pitchers. And they said video games wouldn't help me later in life
Are you really this nice or are you just trying to get in my pants?
Both?
We're going to work out tomorrow I guess but it usually consists of doing weights for 10 minutes, then saying fuck cardio and going to Taco Tuesday
So I totally just used margarita salt for a body scrub.
I have my vibrator between my thighs and I'm listening to high school musical. That kind of high. We're all in this together.
Your children are clinging to me like my teets are full of bountiful milkiness. They're driving me nuts. I felt my uterus shrivel up.
When you get shitfaced you find strippers when I get shitfaced I speak to woodland creatures, do you see the dilema?
coughing up blood. I'm leaving for the doctor now. P.S. I just won $350 on the wheel of fortune machine in the casino.
It was really strange. I feel like I had sex with a synchronized swimmer.
Cleaned the whole house at 7:30 and after cleaning the bathroom I think I had cocaine on my sweatpants
You'll be happy to know that the bruise is gone from my cock
In other news, Justin Bieber has a big dick and that makes me uncomfortable.
Well if YOU HAVE TO KNOW, we're laying across the street from the bar on that grassy hill trying to see who's she's with at the bar.
Lunch?
Massage?
Spanking with handcuffs?
Randomize
