i just shit an entire soup salad and breadsticks from the olive garden... bud light wins again.
Fuck that. Livers are so overdramatic and attention hungry.
Who spends 33 dollars at Taco Bell and lives???
I don't know if it's the amount i drank last night or the number of taylor swift statuses on facebook but i feel like puking everywhere
after we had sex he told me his original plan was to have sex with my roommate but his buddy likes her so i was backup
My lips are red and swollen. Solid proof that giving head is a viable alternative to lipstick and plumper.
And then I told him since the day he walked away to get over what I went through he lost the boyfriend right to ask why my bed is broken.
I take full pride in being the one that broke ur bed. Want to go for the sofa?
It's amazing where one well timed dick pic can get you in life.
I'm on day 4 of clean eating. I call it the "whore by June" program
Probably gonna run and pray I throw up. Then go get a coffee/bagel & continue to rally
I had a dream that I got you so wet that you flooded my apartment
He said he wanted to lick the breadcrumbs off my chest
Remember when we made out in a Chik-Fil-A drive thru?
I forgot that I'm high because of how high I am.
I sent him nudes while he is at work because I am an evil human being.
Randomize