i googled "the goonies drinking game." i may be alone, but i'm living the college dream.
I wish guys would just cum water 'cause you don't have to worry about being pregnant and it'd be like a squirt gun fight
We need to get her some penis inspired head protection.
i literally paused in the middle of it, turned on my light, pointed to the picture netxt to my bed and go "you hooked up with my roommate too!!! AWWW!" he was so weirded out. i don't think he understands the relationship we have..we share..
I guess I'm in a committed relationship. We just had shot 1 of 3 of Gardasil. I'm now dead inside.
YOU DID DRUGS AFTER A THREESOME WHO ARE YOU TO JUDGE ME?!!?
I BIT YOU IN THE DINING ROOM. I bit you and you crunched
I thought it was a drawer and tried to pull it out and it wasnt a drawer it was the police call button. I hate everything.
I am now being bribed with one orgasm per every meal I eat. This is the best anorexia therapy ever
Invited the whole bar back to my place for an after party.....shit got real with everyone seeing dad drink moonshine like a champ.
There's that certain point at night when you start saying things like s'mores should be used in foreign relations. I reached it.
Ugh. My life is a never ending cycle of bad decisions and taquitos.
It's not christmas until we're acting sober in front of grandma
Panties = found
I did not shave my legs to sit at home and diddle myself. He better wake the fuck up and put the fear of god in me!
Randomize
