You know its going to be a good homecoming when you beer bong a mimosa at 6am.
I think thanksgiving was created so we could all be thankful that we're still alive after the night before.
I found a vibrator in my car and it's not mine...this is becoming a weird day.
four loko is officially banned. leave it to the kids from a state school to fuck it up for everyone
you're a mystery wrapped in an enigma. wrapped inside a burrito.
Now all we have to do is pretend we haven't seen each other naked. Work tomorrow is going to be FUN.
i was staring at her drunk thinking "shes at least a four"
She seriously pointed at the couch and asked me if she could "ride the talking giraffe". I'll never serve everclear again.
You know when you can feel the alcohol in your toes? That's a great feeling.
YOU DID DRUGS AFTER A THREESOME WHO ARE YOU TO JUDGE ME?!!?
Is it possible to rally from a drunken seizure?
Can we just get drunk and watch the Birdcage please I have no tolerance for straight men today
So basically he is jobless, a potential serial killer, and has poor taste in music? We simply don't have time for that.
We both know we're cheating on one another. But our side pieces aren't as kinky as us...so yeah, we're still together. This is a fucked up relationship.
if by making eggnog you mean drinking all the spiced rum, then yes, she's making eggnog
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