I hate all girls vehemently.
walking home from your place the other day I saw a man with a ponytail sitting on some church steps petting a plant
he should get drunk with us
nothing like celebrating the fact that you're not a father by trying to impregnate other women
I just remembered yelling "they're gonna let me be a lawyer! Me! Why would they do that?"
Either he masturbated at the end of the bed or she gave him a bj. Either way my bed was shaking and I was uninvolved.
Ah, I knew it wouldn't be long before my boobs were introduced into the conversation.
when i got home i made myself toast with butter & put pasta on it. I know this cause it's all over my bed.
No, he attached a coozie to his crutches so he can carry his beer around the party.
My dick was out way too much saturday not to get laid
It wasn't the stripper that gave you the hickey but I just figured out who did
Girl on the bus just slammed her book shut, turned to me and said "I'm way to fucking high to be studying"
For Valentine's Day I've purchased six lighters and I'm decorating them for him. I'm on a full ride to an art school and this is what I'm using my talents for. An intervention is needed. Please stop letting me date stoners.
Ecstasy body chair massage shower sex fest this week?
I'm bringing my passport in case we get drunk and wind up in Mexico
I specifically remember rubbing my eyes thinking I could definitely go blind and I really like came to terms with it I was like ok my other senses will develop this is fine
Randomize
