i googled "where to have sex in disneyland." i found nothing.
You make homosexuality sound like a cult.
So stoned I forgot I was masturbating and went to go get a cookie.
Dude, we're at Einstein's Bagels and the dude next to us is spreading cannabutter on his bagel.
I hope my liver is having as much fun as I am
Fuck. I just got my nipple tweaked by a plus size drag queen in a purple dress. I feel like I got molested by Grimace.
There were 11 girls in that minivan and everyone was either puking, crying, or yelling "we're a total shit show"
I'm at the point in my life where I'm trying to get guys I've fucked to give a ride to guys I'm going to fuck.
I decided not to eat, and then this man was my fairy " don't black out" godmother
He wanted to have sex in a church because he has keys to it from court-ordered community service. WHAT IS STANDARDS?
Heres a quick tip! When getting black out head from your girlfriend dont come to and say "wait... wheres my girlfriend"
Did my roommate wake up in your girlfriend's apartment in drag again?
How to not get laid: tell him he reminds you of your brother. While having sex. Thanks, vodka.
My prof handed me back my essay on Lesbians in literature, gave me an A and then we had sex in her office. Told you she was gay.
just threw up in a gas staton parking lot in front of a father and son. stared them in the eyes and finished like a boss
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