she had a my little ponys comforter. i left when she went to the bathroom
I'm still reeling over the fact that you beat us all at Risk while you were flat on your ass drunk and falling asleep on South America.
I was to drunk to drive all the way up there, so we just had rough phone sex instead
Say it nicely.
Fine. I want to lovingly bend you over and lovingly fuck the shit out of you. Happy?
he just told me i make him happier than drugs. that's some serious shit right there
if i actually bought condoms for every time i had sex, i could single handedly fix the economy
dude you cant keep breaking into my house just to raid my fridge.. especially at 3AM.
he told me that my best friend was "one the most attractive people he's ever seen" and wondered why he didn't get a blow job
she made out with a stripper. how was scrabble night with your girlfriend
Were taking his cast off tonite. Need a saw and a gameplan. Meet us at rosies in 30.
He seemed like a really nice guy. He tried to dry my shirt because someone spilled their drink on me. I think that's how I ended up topless on his dryer.
Almost there.
define "almost". like I have enough time to watch a youtube video or oh shit, put on some goddamn pants because they're in the driveway.
You left me a drunk voicemail of you describing your pizza to me at 2 AM
Kinda hard to look your partner in the face the day after a rousing game of How Many Ways Can I Capture Your Penis.
NO FUCKING RANDOMS IN AN ALLEY
Randomize
