Liz and I are now offficially highest. OH, and your girlfriend may be a vampire. Heads up. SPARKLESSSSS
Put my glitter back.
It's 3 am and my parents just came up the driveway in a limo. They didn't leave in a limo. I'm scared to even ask.
The required reading for this week is a paper about birds called great tits. Let's see my TA keep a straight face through this discussion.
all i wanted was to be slutty. now i'm meeting him for drinks tomorrow because he woke up before i had a chance to sneak out and was too polite to say no
chimney cleaner pole that expands when button is pushed then pull out. Remember that. We have to patent it.
Who are you high with right now?
Should I tell them about my ticket for possession or about how I'm shitting blood? Which one will gain the most sympathy?
We are keeping it ultra classy drinking 40s and playing croquet with 90s rap blasting in the back ground
Fucking her would be like seeing big foot, finding a four leaf clover , petting a unicorn, and arm wrestling a leprechaun in a matter of a 6 hour period
And that's why we do second round interviews for possible roommates.
Well we were going to compare notes, but all I could remember was throwing up, and all she could remember was kissing, so then we decided to not compare anything.
Face washed and sleeping pill taken. Here's hoping for a more sex filled tomorrow.
You just get me....like our souls are boning in the spirit world
Teach me the ways of your demonic sorcery.
Nana saw my nipple rings & made me watch Joel Osteen all morning
You know your Halloween costume is slutty when you have to shave your pubes to wear it.
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