I feel miserable, can't drink that much when I go out
We've been saying that since '98
direct quote: "i'm so over my clit" either best or most awkward conversation possible with your COUSIN
So i got in my car, the seats are leaned back, and soft soul music is playing. Wtf happened last night.
Word to the wise: do not smoke before going grocery shopping with only 12 bucks. So stressful.
I swear my cock is like a magnet to my friends younger sisters mouths.
I have tardy slips. and absent slips if you don't show up to the bar. and trust me, if you are absent there will be a saturday school. I'm teaching you how to drink tonight.
ALTON JUST DID GRAVY SHOTS. THIS IS WHY HE'S MY HERO
Bitches at mcdonalds acting like they never seen a girl puke in her own coat pocket before
We are having a competition to see who can masterbate in the wierdest place, right now hes winning since he masterbated on his Jr. High school bus.
If i ever have a kid with an outie i'm giving it up for adoption
Guess who just screamed "Everything happens for a reason!!" in the abortion clinic. This girl.
I tried to interpretive dance to Candy Shop to stop the awkwardness.
I know. But whatever I'll just eat cold pizza and play with my cats by candlelight
Driving you two to the party with a keg belted into the back seat has given me a brief glimpse of parenthood. I am now more resolved than ever to never breed, so thanks for that.
All I want is some guy to eat me out while I work on grad school things then go on his way
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