They say rihanna has been dating several mets players. They go on to say that she feels safe with them because they can't beat anybody.
My mom is wearing Ed Hardy. There aren't words.
I am now the only person in my apartment who hasn't had sex in my bed.
What are you doing? Did I punch you in the face last night?
He just showed up at my house and was like "have you seen an axe laying around?" he wasnt wearing any shoes.
We need more drag queens in our life I've decided
As I was throwing up blood I assured concerned onlookers that I had simply "eaten a lot of ketchup today"
Ok. Here's the plan. Take your hand (whichever is closest), summon all your nerve, and just stick it right down his pants.
I love you.
there's a photo set of like seven dicks covered in glitter....i don't know what to do
I have so many plans for this weekend and sobriety is not invited.
I'm just saying, I walked in on you blowing a burrito. I now understand how obsessed you are with Taco Bell. And how long it's been since you've got some.
mom how many of the songs from my childhood are mexican drinking songs?
all of them.
You tried paying your tab with the coaster
I'm torn between wanting to wear lipstick and wanting to make out with strangers.
I'm determined to sit on that face.
Randomize
