I'm literally partying with O.J. Simpson's son right now. I don't know what to make of this.
Now all we have to do is pretend we haven't seen each other naked. Work tomorrow is going to be FUN.
Then she cat effected the picture of my dick I sent her the other night. I'm in love.
He walks in. We each have a tiki torch. We say, the tribe has spoken. We put his out and then stab him with it.
A man and his most likely hooker just bought us Taco Bell.
Everyone at work loved my story about sobering up in a river with no bra on.
No padding. I spent my whole summer with my nips out. October don't need that too.
I seriously just drove by a man walking down the street wearing hospital scrubs, an 80s track jacket, gold necklace and carrying a flute.
You know.... I ordered the nipple clamps when I was drunk. But on further consideration, THANKS DRUNK ME I LIKE WHATS HAPPENING
Have you ever just like not slept in so long that everything looks like a lava lamp?
SO DRUNK
PUKED IN DRIVEWAY
TELL PARENTS SORRY
Hell no. Last time I used a Slip N Slide I ended up with bruised ribs, a broken fence and the hatred of a half naked girl with a sprained wrist.
he was Irish, I had to have sex with him.
you were so high you just watched the elf.... its spring
woke up hungover this morning lying in a water raft covered in water.. i dont know if i should consider this good or bad
Randomize
