is sleeping with your Political Science professor Politically incorrect?
Was he helping you 'cram' for your final, or just giving an oral exam?
can you come get me at the bar
ill be there in 10 min
can we stop off at build a bear on the way home
Pre-St Patricks Day Log: Threw up across a 14ft radius, this is why the irish dont drink tequila
Springtime is officially here. I just used pool water to fill up the bong
The words "my birth control fell out" should never be spoken
I can't believe I just compared my penis to a St. Bernard.
I just walked in on my roommates playing baseball with old vegetables and a bigass knife.
Let me start this apology by saying you were the finest piece of ass I ever had.
and then you looked me right in the eyes and said "i just really wanna pet some horses right now"
let's make a party pact right now just as precaution for this trip: ill make sure you don't piss yourself if you make sure I don't bang my cousins friends. deal?
reason #1 why i should never live alone: i haven't put pants on since she left 26 hours ago. and ive made spaghetti 3 times.
Were you seriously humming twinkle twinkle little star while cupping my balls?
Stop getting drunk and running away. I can'tell chase you. Iim in heels and have big boobs. Running is a bad idea for me.
this is the second day the intern has gotten me coffee. he either wants to bang me or thinks I'm more important than I am.
either way he's in for disappointment
My friends said as soon as you walked in, I motor boated you like there was no tomorrow.
Yeah, I liked it.
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