Btw I've read that book you bought me...And I'm such a bitch now
But I don't think guys love me
last night I thought his shirt said yale... but this morning it definitely says old navy.
I don't know how to tell my mom that I'm not sober enough to drive to the dentist...
He asked if I wanted a dutch rudder. 1.) Who says that? 2.) How exactly does one do that with a girl?
I broke his nose at the bar and he still went home with me.
Well sundance is in town and Im going to use my one and only shot to bang Taylor swift... Does it count as a random if shes famous?
I might not remember all of last night but I clearly remember the part where I humped the mailbox.
Ugh I hate you, and the responsible adult life I pretend to have during daylight hours
I can affiliate each flavor of Copenhagen to a different one night stand. I really love Texas.
Just follow the currents of life. And if they take me on to a guys dick, so be it.
If they were bad they leave that night, if they were good they get a gold star, and if they were great they get invited back. Simple.
She made sure everyone knew we were doing shots for her dead grandma.
All I ever do is give guys anxiety problems and flaccid penises.
LMAO. Stop. Men are such gentleman these days. I woke up with no one beside me and you got 6 cents
6 cents and no orgasm 💃🏻🎉
We are so blessed
you poured beer in your mouth so you could be a beer pong cup for her to drink out of/make out with
Did it work?
Randomize
