O no, u 2 are dating again?
No. I just masturbate furiously to his picture
no morals, dignity, or self respect ... just an empty condom wrapper and a facebook request
she must of just birthed a child cause her labia touched the floor
watching my parents drink 4 loko out of usf cups playing pool and rocking out to ACDC...
Can I come live with you?
He told everyone he was going inside...an hour later we get a knock on the garage door from some dude telling us a guy is passed out on the lawn and we should get him inside because it's about to rain
So the same day I accidentally bought waterproof mascara is the day I accidentally had shower sex. The world is finally on my side.
Took an impromptu nap on the floor of a starbucks bathroom using my backpack as a pillow. Please tell me you have been this hungover
He's going to regret telling me he doesn't care if i shave or not...
Burnt my ear trying to use the bathroom blow dryer as a telephone.
We got naked and peed in the garden. Something about bonding with our new house
I've found myself wondering why I WASN'T naked before, but I generally always know why I am naked. Except now. WHY THE FUCK ARE WE ALL NAKED
When you leave ur sleepover boy on ur front porch waiting for a cab bc work
Drunk you decided to patrol campus as the Arrow and tell random bystanders "YOU HAVE FAILED THIS CAMPUS." Campus P.D. did not join your crusade.
That explains the nerd bow & arrow...
Also that boy who jizzed in me wearing Cowboy boots and a plaid shirt snapped me at 4 am and said "I owe you a dinner. Sorry"
No fucking Jell-O shots or meth. Those are the rules
Randomize
