Dude, just walked by a homeless guy pissing on the sidewalk while he was screaming at his wang. God, I love this city.
and she was petting her beer can
With sake I got over my irrational fear of seafood. Now I just fear sake.
Your mom can still drink beer standing on her head! Talk to you tomorrow :)
Mom wtf!?
I didn't think it was possible but there may actually be TOO MANY pictures of me tagged shotgunning.
Oh my god it's like Minesweeper. I can tell there's sex in three of the four rooms, but which one is the safe one?
What's bad is when she said "what hobo did you steal this dick from?"
great! i almost saw a gas station fight, and i believe i became the first person to successfully pee and puke in a bathtub simultaneously
You were with some girl. Your exs best friend. Your shirt was half undone and she was telling you to put your penis away. It wasn't out but you wanted to. Patron is your weaknes.
The assistant vp has a bottle of wine on his desk & I have a feeling my boobs will be making an appearance today.
Also adulthood=replacing meals with bourbon. And not getting your hair caught in a fan.
I broke down outside of an all boys correctional facility
well if that's not a gay porn waiting to happen, i dont know what is...
And my coffee table looks like something out of Scarface
After a crazy night, morning sex is just trying to find a position where you can thrust without getting seasick.
I need an honest answer, no judgements. Would it make me a bad person if I fucked the other twin?
Randomize
