Me too ba-by. I wanna bite your ear lobes they are so fat.
Considering that my ex-wife dumped me to become a lesbian, the Universe owes me a threesome.
It's 3am, i just got back from ht e bars and registered for classes larteeeeee. History of baseball at 8am? at least ill meet the only stragiht gusy at NYU!
When you went through airport security you asked if the could check if a baby was in there. That drunk.
thought i was the most hungover person in class until i saw a kid puke into his bookbag...he wins
I want something that's relevant to him banging her right after I did. Like "runner-up"
She's an honest to god fucking ballerina. She did things I don't have names for.
I respect the size of her balls.
Yeah but I don't respect the size of her anything else.
His personality is sparkling but nothing beats his ass
stef broke her leg trying to vault over the coffee table. these olympics drinking games are going to fucking kill us
i just googled coccaine effects on sexual performance..maybe im dating the wrong guy
First time since we broke up that I'm not drunk before noon...win for broken hearts everywhere
my sex drive just dried up, fell out, and is rolling on the floor somewhere.
He kept saying "Ayyyyyyy" during foreplay... during sex.... during everything! It felt like I was having sex with friggin Fonzie from Happy Days!
Well obviously we have a ghost in the house who’s taking showers in your bathroom and doing our cocaine.
Randomize
