I didn't shave. On purpose
Hey sorry about saying i hated you. it was the coke and the ice cream.
Damn I can't remmbre the last tome I had sobr sex
Um. I believe with my boyfriend, slut
Fuck. Wron person. But yea
I love seeing the creepers that friend request me outside of facebook. its like seeing a unicorn in the middle of campus.
hah yeah. there was a kid puking in the bathroom and this idiot brings in a potted plant and was like "yeah he's like, not getting enough oxygen"
Just got the American Express annual summary for 2009. The amount of bars we visited last year is impressive.
I can get orange kush...
GET IT NOW! WHY IS THERE A DOT DOT DOT?!
Have invented new cocktail. Any flavor of crystal light and vodka. I call it "I am going to die alone"
Got robbed by knifepoint. Then got sympathy Bj. I might have to walk down Austin ave drunk every weekend
I was trying to be quiet until started to feel like my cock was being dipped in a rainbow and then I stopped caring temporarily
I threw a dessert topping at a baby tonight so drink up! If you stay sober tonight I will be very disappointed in you.
DO YOU REALIZE HOW AWESOME MY GRANDMA WOULD BE IF SHE GOT HIGH
You stopped loving me for a minute.
You sent me "Is nap," I don't think that really counts as a conversation starter.
Btw, how did you break into my room, and why did you decide that covering the mushrooms with a blanket was more secure than a lock on my door?
Definitely went to court without a bra and panties because Mr. LastNight’s dog stole them. I guarantee you I was the only lawyer going commando in court
Randomize
