It's always exciting to touch a new boob.
Acid is not a monday night drug
is it really high of me to have brought my own hot sauce to wendys?
Watching Blossom reruns on YouTube. Eating Pringles dipped in hot chocolate. Not taking this breakup well.
you're the best thing to happen to me. closely followed by learning to ejaculate, and drugs.
Its a Guy he gets weed for. I'm kinda confused as to why there are going to even be tuxedos involved at all.
So his mom walked in the kitchen while I was sucking him off and just casually suggested that "I'd need a glass of water after that"
THESE BITCHES NOT IN MY MAJOR BETTER NOT FILL UP MY SLAVIC FAIRYTALES CLASS
Does this mean I don't have to apologize for launching about 20 bead necklaces at you from the balcony?
Sometimes i think i need to stop drinking because i can't afford losing so many panties anymore
10/10 dentists agree that he is one bangable mother fucker. hint: i am all of these dentists.
Your ability to whip out your dick and take a pic anytime I text you is startling.
I told you I missed you and you said you missed me as much as you miss a urinary tract infection. I get it. You're still mad.
I'm not coming to work today because tequila
Every dick I’ve had or wanted in the last year is married. It’s like I became a professional home wrecker after I graduated.
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