Full bush! Can't stay! Need ride! Come on bro!
I dont ever wanna see you tell my little brother to "spread the seed" ever again
at a party and just made O-H-I-O out of dicks and vajayjays...i hope someone took a pic i was too busy (; GO BUCKS!!!
His dick was so small it sat perched on top of his balls like it was king of his scrotum.
guy at the corner shop gets out a bottle of tequilla and a pack of malboro light whenever he sees me through the door. makes me feel loved and cared for
He just slept in my bed for a couple hours and asked lots of questions about gay sex. No, I do not have his number.
we're havin a 400 loko party for joe pa's 400th win. come get loko
Tequila bombs in champagne seemed like a good idea at the time.
I don't know at which point last night turned terribly, terribly wrong, but it was somewhere around Motel 6, specifically the parking lot.
100% truth: never tied someone to a bed using 4 pairs of sweatpants before
I decided staying home, watching porn and masterbating was a much better choice than the gym. And I was right.
This is the third year in a row that Mario has fallen through a table on New Years. I'm sensing a tradition developing.
I don't care. She's the only girl to make me feel like my face is melting when she blows me.
As a member of the kink community, I feel grossly misrepresented
Please tell me why I’m standing naked in the kitchen drinking pickle juice out of the jar & there is a container of potatoe salad with no lid & a spoon in it on the floor 🤦♀️
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