Like worst hickies ever he always gives them like wtf
she looked like the bat from fern gully.
Idk if this white stuff in my shower is conditioner or... something else?
I will make out with the first guy who tries to pick me up with a lyric from a rap song. I won't even reply, just be on him like whoa.
Woke up on the floor with my glow stick in one hand & dollar bills in the other. Good. Morning.
Found a guy passed out on the coffee table with a thong duct taped from ear to ear.
Between the plague n the counterfeit drugs we brought back from mexico I'm not thinking too highly of their country right now. Screw mexican homeless men.
they lined up to high five me when i got taken out by the stretcher. The paramedic high fived them too
Yay for living on the edge. I'm trying this new thing where I stop mom-arming people and promote bad decisions. It's working quite well.
When my parents ask if I met any nice guys in California, I'm going to answer, "No, but I have gone home with alot of nice girls". Too much, too soon?
You're asking your pregnant booty call to go to a funeral with you?
We were still up at 6am, taking shots, because thats apparently how he liked to "get the day started".
You tried to use him as a battering ram. I'm 99% certain that's why he left.
I am so stoned. And there are so many white people in this Jack in the Box.
Sorry this is taking so long. I'm looking for my dignity.
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