So I was blaaazed. & while he was in me all I kept thinking was how bad I'd rather be watching The Office.
I woke up to a paper award certificate for best blow job and he was gone. You're welcome mystey man.
Ohmy god im about to fuxk my TA. i thyought this was a dream but i love you. <3
I just feel like Im gonna be remembered as that one RA guy that used to sell weed
Am I allowed to compare getting cum'd on the face to a warm summer rain?
There was a pirates of the caribbean marathon on. No matter how much you like rum, it is NOT possible to outdrink the pirates. They always win.
sexting foreigners is the best. they respond with silly things like "love that tits"
When you didn't respond I figured you must be busy so I'm home in my pj's 2 beers in and stoned from weed I got from my gaybours. They also gave me cake. I'm not moving from this recliner.
I also farted in bed this morning and said, "I don't even care. My body deserves that."
I went in for a high five.. He went in for a kiss.. Today is a good day
Do you really want to know anything about the inner machinations of a furry's mind
If Dr Phil has taught me anything about myself, it’s that I can seriously relate to those women who fake their pregnancies.
I don't know if I'm more disturbed by the fact that you hooked up with a dude with one arm, or that "hook up with a dude with one arm" was on your bucket list.
I just convinced a telemarketer I live in a tree.
What did he say?
He still asked if I want a home security system.
For a second fuck I think last night went extremely well... our sexual relationship is progressing at a pace that im quite satisfied with.
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