I am I'm going to have heart failure he's peed on my life.
Everytime we come here you have an ex here.
Is it weird that I think of Ennis from Brokeback Mountain everytime I hear "Make em Say" by Master P? "I don't need your money. Huh." NA NA NA NAAA.
woke up this morning with pubes superglued to my face, not my pubes
Ohmy god im about to fuxk my TA. i thyought this was a dream but i love you. <3
I vaguely remember having a cowboy explain his belt buckle to me in the bathroom hallway
just woke up in a camero on the way to nebraska, i would appreciate it if you answered your phone.
There was confetti in my vomit this morning... Happy New Year!!
Walking in on a gay threesome, with a girl in the corner watching and taking vid is a reason to not only knock, but to never go to Savannah.
Somehow I've got the party rigged to where I get a foot massage every time someone wants a beer out of the fridge. Hellz yeah
Just stuck all that extra cocaine money we made in a savings account...like a responsible adult..
Actually going to jail after your wedding is NOT part of the plan.
He kept sending me videos of his dogs while I was trying to masturbate. At what point does getting vagina-block apply?
And with one simple text you can separate the men from the boys...."it's that time of the month."
Upstairs definitely just had sex while I wrote you love poetry. That was a fun experience 🤷🏻♀️
I have a number of responses, ranging in content, tone, and maturity. Choose your destiny...
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