kill, fuck, marry: alice cullen, hermione granger, ginny weasley.
damn... fuck alice for sure, I feel bad but i think I have to say marry ginny... and kill hermoine! I can't believe I'm answering this right now.
I heard you threw up in your lap?
I heard that too.
So stoned I forgot I was masturbating and went to go get a cookie.
making cat noises will not fix the situation.
my bf wants us to fuck our way into the new year.. how original..
i just missed the spain goal because i was puking in the bathroom. damn you open bar.
promise me that when we are 32, we will look nothing like Kim Zolciak. Promise me right this instant.
Everyone is hammered wasted already...young, old, the dying, babies...we got them all
There's a certain level of slut that i can handle.... I think she just broke that scale
so why was i the only one who woke up with ham stuck to my ass?
Holy shit, you lost your virginity on 11/11/11. Now every time someone fucks you, they can make a wish. Your vagina has officially been transformed into a wishing well.
Nothing like a little chlamydia diagnosis to ring in the new year
My sex toys have been held in customs for almost a month now. They're British, what the hell?!?
You can't hold me to anything I said last night; I was drunk on orgasms.
Fursuit judi Dench just stared directly at me for 3 solid minutes telling me that cats arent dogs and i believe her because if i dont cat jason derulo might try to have sex with me
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