New boss looks like john cusack in a collar. Hot. Why do i always want to have sex with priests?
I don't even remember his name...i'm just gonna save it as birthday sex
I had to move some guys boxers out of the dryer. This is the closest I'll be getting to dick this month.
I didn't realize how much I missed him until his balls were back in my mouth..
So when you said you wanted to make a clay replica of my boobs and hang it above your bed you actually meant it?
Even though ive seen her get fisted by another girl at a party, shes still a doctor.
Drunk. The frashmen love me. Give them. Toilrt paper. And shiots
HIS TAN HAS PUT ME TO SHAME. HE TOOK HIS PANTS OFF AND HIS DICK LOOKED LIKE A GHOST
people came up our fire escape and one had a cut on his leg and he was beautiful so i told him i was an emt and bandaged it with princess bandaids
U can be a future sentaor's wife if you want. I'm happy with "closet lesbian", "tech prof".and "masters degree" all rolled into one. Drunken bar escapades pay off.
A duck just looked me in the eye whilst I peed in a lake. I feel so dirty.
He told me he was married and then fingered me on the kitchen counter. It was awkward to explaining the broken toaster to my roommates this morning...
Why was I drunk tweeting incorrect Beyonce lyrics last night?
I know I've become a responsible adult because this time, I'm not going to do the drugs I found on the ground
Whose dick am I looking at? There are too many possibilities at the moment.
Randomize
