u just dont fucking get it...you try and cum while your cat is staring at you.
i just lost my virginity for the 9th time. when will guys stop believing that nonsense line
You know you're deprived when the only thing you taste while chewing gum is the 2 grams of sugar alcohol.
That's why she's the girl with her life together and you're the girl with the penis drawn on your car.
If only guys knew how much awkward ass shaving goes into making sex this good...
Bruises. Everywhere. Table sex is dangerous
My mom just blew pot smoke into my nose and called me a cat.
Also pregame at mine tomorrow?
You chanted SOFA PIZZA all night then we woke up to find about ten slices under the cushions where you were sleeping....
Drunk Tina signed up to be part of the crew team and got a text from the captain telling her there's practice tomorrow. Wtf
I am undressing in in n out. They migit ca5l security. Are you provn d6 me?
OH MY GOD. SO PROUD.
Meeting his dad and brother for the first time at the jail while I'm bailing him out ISN'T exactly how I pictured this relationship going....
Please don't place wagers on my sex life unless you are giving me a cut. With my current sluttiness I feel like I deserve 40% for how much money you'll make
masturbating on the freeway is more stressful than it sounds
I'm now using my vagina for good, not evil. Trying to restore balance to the force.
You started singing Baby Shark, screamed you have no idea how it goes, then somehow turned the beat into Bohemian Rhapsody
Randomize
