school has made you so classy.
that's mcgill. producing sluts since 1884.
The highlight of my Saturday night was singing along to the sound of music alone in my room.
My favorite part of the day is the 2 seconds of ignorance you have when you first wake up. Right before you remember where your mouth was last night.
"fuck a duck" is spelled out in chinese food on my counter... im kind of nervous to search the rest of my house......
If i'm not hungover, near death, and wondering what i did the night before on Monday, life is not worth living.
I passed out and woke up with my pockets full of Lucky Charms cereal and chocolate coins. Another successful St Pattys Day.
Pregnancy confirmed. Complete emotional instability achieved. I just cried through 95% of Avatar.
The dean held back my hair as I was puking after graduation. That means so much more than a diploma and a handshake.
Dude this breakup has officially hit rock bottom. sitting around watching women's NCAA basketball instead of going out
I am not going to ask my mother to pause a movie so I can have phone sex.
I was on my way last night when some asshole yelled "make better life choices" out the window of his car. I felt so self conscious I went home.
I'm 50% sure my cousin put weed in these deviled eggs.
Gays age differently than straights. 29 is like 45 in gay years. Next year I'll be in adult diapers and applying for medicaid.
I swear to god, I'm like....the Jedi master of dick.
I mean...if Marco gets pregnant, it is either the spawn of Satan or the second coming of Christ (neither of which I want in my life). So let's just hope that he doesn't grow a womb and that we don't have to consider either option.
Randomize