apparently my drunken alterego is a lazyeyed bisexual.
ok, his religious views on facebook are madonna lyrics. we no longer have to wonder about his sexuality.
i just discovered a movie that charlize theron is a sex addict. i think my prayers have been answered
Security brought me back to our hotel room in a wheelchair last night. Vegas.
And if you ever tell anyone that I will fucking kill you.
In the library. Still drunk. Shoes missnig. Term paper due in fiften minutes. Iff I puke u think theyll throw me out?
I feel like I'm full of double a batteries and cocaine.
Two run-ins with cops/park rangers tonight and now I'm just wandering around high and shirtless
Sacramento doesn't deserve you
You don't know how skeptical I was about letting a guy with braces go down on me
You gave me a bottle of tequila and introduced me to a ginger named cowboy. I actually love you.
If it exists, I've probably pregamed it.
You have a husband. I have a bag full of electronics. This, is the single life.
You know what sucks about being drunk at 4 pm? Not a god damn thing.
u would mumble something and then get unnecessarily loud and say random shit like 'id fuck the shit out of taylor hanson right now'
Yea.. And you'll love me a whole lot more when I start letting my vagina make all the decisions..
My alcoholism is old enough to drink.
Randomize
