I think we should boobie trap our beer this time using duct tape, rubber bands, seran wrap, and urine. Trust me I have a plan and it will work.
So my game is weak??
If your game is "Lets have sex, and maybe pizza" then yes.
hooking up with my manager sounds like an even better idea while i'm sober.
and he should realize what an amazing ex i am for encouraging my best friend to hook up with him
let's just pour the lemonade mix into the soco. cut out the middle man.
I like how I get messages from eharmony at the same time I'm looking for a new vibrator. It's like the powers that be are just trying to make my life ironic.
Rush week is fine, only the t-shirts are white and if it rains, the frat boys in their lawn chairs will be treated to 800 freshmen girls in their first wet tshirt contest.
Welcome to college.
I am compiling a playlist that reminds me of all my best sexual encounters. It shall be called THE MUSIC OF MY VAGINA'S PEOPLE
We are in Florida for 3 days. The people in charge of shit brought: a waffle maker, a cheese grater and a SEWING MACHINE
AND NO VODKA
all I've ever wanted was a guy with twelve cats who will tie me up in bed
Uh do you have my pants because I have yours
I just watched an intern spill two trays of coffee inside a spinning door
Best exit from a building ever
extra points if i make kids and or the elderly cry
As you were leaving you yelled at the owners that the stairs weren't suitable for "intoxacapated" people and promptly fell down them.
So I WAS right.
She's better-looking with the mask on.
Randomize
