Breakfast of vicodin and eggs out of a solo cup at about three in the afternoon on a wednesday...I have my life together
I just saw the host of Singled Out do standup. Holy shit 1995.
i feel this outfit says i'm better than you, but i might give you a handjob behind a building
he came within less than a minute of me blowing him. this was our second night hanging out in a row. for an almost 30 year old italian man, he is NOT living up to his country's reputation
There is a pube in my fucking eyeball
Well if he truly loves me he will just have to accept my flaws. And that includes a tequila dependency and borderline lesbianism.
Is it penis luge time yet?
i sound like a 75 year old homeless man that has spent all his panhandling money on cigarettes since he was 12. that rough.
WHY AM I CRAWLING IN OLDER MEN HOLY JESUS
I feel like your personal Bdsm barbie...
holy shit I was not prepared for her to whip out that dildo
I'm sitting at my kitchen table alone dressed as a dinosaur smoking bowls in the dark. Is this rock bottom? Or is this living the dream? Who's to say
I'm sober now, I ate a whole cantaloupe.
I gave her a cheerful high five and she turned to me and said, "we should do that with our genitals." I may have to marry this girl.
She's dancing around licking a fork of nutella. She is not sober.
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