he was like Britney Spears in bed.. a little chubby and too medicated to perform.
just stared at ed norton's ass for 26 miles. if there was ever an incentive to run a marathon, that was it. my life is perfect.
In Canada she would be a 10 but here in America she's only a 7
I'm trying to decide if I want to bring home my 'beer champion' trophy or my chem books.
i woke up to find out i googled the Twilight Eclipse trailer. so either drunk me doesn't know that i'm straight, or sober me doesn't know that i'm gay
I have stripper ass cheeks all over my glasses
My dad, when he got home and saw me loading a bowl in the living room: "We have TWO beautiful balconies to get high on and you pick the couch?!"
White people are beatboxing! Save me.
I'm not sure if I should be proud of you for having morals or disappointed in you for letting your sex life get this sad.
Not as awesome as someone telling you that you have the biggest tits they've ever seen. And they're like 30-something, so they've seen a decent amount of tits in their lifetime.
I'm adopting to save the world from the moral outrage that would be my offspring
I don't think I have face palmed that many times in such a short period. And I've worked tech support.
You told everyone to shut up then told the officer that you are 21 when you drink.
i just really want to fuck a guy wearing lederhosen
it'll be sexier than it sounds, i promise
it will be a surprise...all I can say is stripper clown.
Randomize
