Just once id like a girl to say to me in the dracula voice, i want...to suck...your dick...
we went to sleep in different beds and woke up spooning. alcohol truly is the anti-cockblocker.
you kind of just crawled on top of him. that was the point at which i became concerned with how drunk you were.
I'm finding that as the end of the quarter approaches, the list of things I refuse to do sober keeps getting longer.
Just puked up hair, tacos and vodka. Hello Memorial Day weekend.
Well... When your girlfriend fucks your sister, the 2 week courtesy window goes out the door.
True. On an unrelated note I helped post bail for both of our ex girlfriends last night. Russian roulette: guess which one is pregnant?
Oh Julie took your pants off last night, I put your pajama bottoms on, and Rachel took your bra off. It takes a village.
Oh were you the stripper at that club last Sunday when i was trippin on acid wearing a giraffe outfit?
Sorry about flashing you in front of your mom.
He? As in you personified your dick?
Question: When you have the names of 4 guys tattoo'd on you, how do you make the 5th one real special?
So that guy from plenty of fish has a lightning bolt tattooed on his face. I kinda feel like I HAVE to sleep with him now.
not sure what stings more, my ass or my pride...
She handed me scissors and told me that they were the ones with the lowest probability of having been used to trim someone's pubes.
Randomize
